


Chocolate

by walking_travesty



Series: Four AM Rush [9]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cheating, Depression, Fighting, Heartache, M/M, Missed Chances, Niam - Freeform, Past Perrie Edwards/Zayn Malik, Perrie Edwards - Freeform, Recovery, Unrequited Love, Ziam - Freeform, genderbend!Perrie, little mix-freeform, terrible mistakes, zerrie (mentioned) - freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 03:16:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3193253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walking_travesty/pseuds/walking_travesty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When did Zayn's life become a bad teen drama?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> Title from The 1975's song of the same name.   
> Enjoy!

The two boys stand in the poorly lit alleyway, both staring at one another in dead silence; the sound of the city rushing by in the background.

“Uh, Hi,” Zayn says sheepishly, kicking the gravel under his feet. Liam chuckles airily, his face emotionless.

“Hi, Zayn.” He says softly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Liam looks away for a moment, wrapped up in his own thoughts.

“You…never returned any of my calls or texts,” Zayn says softly, “I was beginning to think you were dead or something.” Zayn says, a small smile forming at the corners of his mouth. His smile drops when he notices Liam’s prominent frown.

“Well what was I supposed to say? ‘Oh you broke my heart, of course we can be friends?’” Liam says, giving Zayn and incredulous look. The comment makes Zayn duck his head, guilt crawling up his spine. He pulls at the collar of his jacket, avoiding Liam’s beguiling gaze. “That’s not how the world works Zayn, Y-You can’t just do shit like that and expect someone to be okay with it.” Liam sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “This is real life Zayn, not some game.”

“Okay, I get it.” Zayn chokes out, clearing his throat after. He gives himself the courage to look Liam in the eye, mind filled to the brim with guilt. “I’m sorry that I lead you on, and I just-“ Zayn stops, eyes focusing anywhere but at Liam, “I just didn’t want to let you go” Zayn says, “A-At first I, I thought that you would be just some guy that I fucked around with from time to time, but-“ Zayn stops again, looking up at the darkened sky before looking back at Liam, “but I realized how-different you are, I-I knew I couldn’t fuck around with you, Liam I-“

“But you did anyway,” Liam adds, tone dark and jaw tense. Zayn feels even more like garbage when he sees the blank expression on his face.

“I know I did, and I’m sorry,” Zayn sighs, he rubs a hand down his face, “I’m sorry for what I did but I-“

“Listen, Zayn,” Liam cuts him off, rubbing a hand down the back of his neck, “I-You don’t have to apologize, okay? I was the one who thought that we were-something other than fuckbuddies,” He sighs, “I finally realize how stupid I was, and it would probably be better if we,” Liam looks at Zayn, his throat constricting when he sees the tears welling his eyes, “I think it would be better if we, don’t talk to each other anymore.” Zayn almost bent over, the words punching him right in the gut. He struggles for air, his hands curling into his hair.

“N-No, Li, please don’t I-“ Zayn chokes out, “I wanted t-to tell you that I changed my mind about us, I-I-want to be with you.” Zayn says. He watches Liam’s face for any sign of happiness; any sign of hope, but there was nothing.

“I’m with someone else now, Zayn,” Liam says, voice soft, “I’m happy,” He adds, avoiding Zayn’s gaze.

“Liam, I-I’m sorry for what I did, I didn’t know what I was thinking, I really-“

“It’s too late, Zayn,” Liam says, his eyes shining with his own unshed tears, “We wouldn’t have worked anyway, I mean we barely even know each other.” Liam did have a point, but Zayn didn’t want to hear it. Zayn shakes his head, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his jacket.

“But we could try, y-you _changed_ me, Liam, just by being there.” Zayn says, voice groggy, “I-I don’t do the whole relationship thing, Liam, because I know that something like _this_ would eventually happen. But Liam, you make me want to try, you make me want to try and be a better person,” He explained, arms wrapping protectively around himself, “Isn’t that enough for you to give me a chance?” Zayn asked. Liam shakes his head numbly, wiping away a stray tear.

“I’m sorry, Zayn, but I can’t,” Liam said, looking down, “I’ve already gotten my heart broken; I don’t want it to happen again,” Liam said, looking up, “Bye, Zayn,” He says, giving him one last look before he puts his hood up, turning to walk the way he came.

“Liam, please, I-I’m sorry,” Zayn tried, tears rolling down his face. Zayn doesn’t bother to chase after him, he stands there, watching Liam’s silhouette get smaller and smaller until he was completely gone.

Liam is relieved to see Niall in the same place he left him. When their eyes meet, Niall’s eyes light up as a smile crawls across his features.

“Everything alright, babe?” Niall asks, gripping onto Liam’s hand. Liam clears his throat, smiling weakly down at the blond boy.

“Fine, everything’s fine.” Liam says softly, continuing their walk.

-+-

 

“’Brought you some tea,” Louis murmurs, setting it down beside Zayn’s bed. Zayn doesn’t bother to move, staying completely still as he looks off into the distance. He flinches when he feels Louis’ delicate hand on the small of his back, rubbing comforting circles there. Zayn sighs, pulling his blanket closer to himself. “Do you wanna’ talk about it?” Louis murmurs softly. Zayn feels the bed dip beside him, moments later feeling arms wrap around his torso. Louis pulls him closer to his chest, hooking his chin over Zayn’s head.

“I’m sorry,” Zayn whispers, the first words he’s said in two days. Louis just shushes him, pulling him as close as humanly possible.

“I know.”

\---

_When did my life become a shitty teen drama?_

Zayn thinks this, energy drained as he sits on the couch. Louis (after an hour of prodding) managed to get Zayn to move from his depressingly lit bedroom into the living room, where light poured out unforgivingly from the tall, curtain covered windows. He hears Louis say something, but he doesn’t acknowledge it. He nearly falls off the couch when he feels something hit him on the side of the face.

“Hey, couch potato with eyes, I asked you a question.” Louis calls, padding over to the couch. Zayn looks up at him, irritated before he settles into his spot again.

“What?” Zayn drawls out, looking up at Louis.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Louis sighs, tapping his foot. “You’re scaring me, Z, I’ve never seen you like this, ever.” Louis said, voice soft, he settles into the spot next to him, putting his feet on top of the coffee table. Zayn just shrugs, making Louis even more concerned. “Zayn, you need to get this off your chest,” Louis murmurs softly, his hand resting on Zayn’s shoulder, “You’ll start to feel better if you do, trust me.” He adds, Zayn looks at Louis and knows that what he says is right.

“I fucked up,” Zayn says, rubbing his eyes, “I fucked up really bad, Lou,” He grumbles, lying his head on Louis’ shoulder, “He won’t even talk to me now,” Zayn says glumly, closing his eyes. Louis clicks his tongue, his arm wrapping around Zayn’s shoulders.

“Tell me what happened, everything.” Louis said, his voice laced with concern; in that moment, Zayn realized that he didn’t deserve a friend like Louis. It was hard to say what happened out loud, he had to stop a couple times to keep from choking on his own words. When he finished, Zayn felt more drained than before.

“It’s my fault, it’s all my fault,” Zayn said numbly, staring blankly off into the distance, “I don’t think I can fix this, Louis,” He sighs.

“Maybe you don’t need to fix it, maybe it’s for the best,” Louis said, when he sees the shocked look on Zayn’s face he continues, “I mean, you’ve only known this kid for, what, a couple months? Not to mention he was fresh out of a relationship-with a _girl_. “ Louis adds, threading his fingers through Zayn’s hair. “Look, I know how much Per-“

“Don’t,” Zayn says weakly, knowing exactly who Louis was talking about, “I banned that name from this household, remember?” Zayn says, leaning more into Louis’ touch.

Perrie was the first boy he’d ever been with. Their relationship mostly consisted of fucking until the sun came up, and drinking until they couldn’t see straight, but to Zayn, it was the best thing to ever happen to him. Zayn thought that they would be together forever, never one without the other. He knew deep down that Perrie was toxic for him, but he was young and madly in love, so he stayed. They had been together for nearly four years when it happened. Zayn was blindsided to say the least to see his partner in bed with someone else. It shattered Zayn, putting him into a pit of depression. It didn’t help that soon after, Perrie left him.

“Think of it this way,” Louis says, ignoring Zayn’s protest, “You know how shitty you felt when Perrie broke up with you? Well, I’m pretty sure that’s how Liam feels when you practically shat on his heart.” Louis quipped, gripping Zayn’s shoulder.

“But that doesn’t make any sense, not unless he-“ Zayn stopped, swallowing around the lump in his throat, he sits up, rubbing at his eyes. “You don’t think he-“

“Yes, I in fact do.” Louis said, looking at Zayn seriously.

“B-But _how?_ ” Zayn says, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I don’t know, but I know it’s definitely a possibility.”

“So you’re telling me, that Liam is in- _love_ with me?” Zayn says, voice small.

“I’m not saying it’s accurate, I’m just saying it’s plausible.” Louis says, hands raised in defense. Zayn clicked his tongue, rising from his spot on the couch.

“I’m going back to my room; I don’t need to hear any more of your bullshit.” Zayn mumbles, dragging his blanket along with him.

\---

“A-And you just- _left_ him there?” Harry says, disbelief in his tone. Liam rolls his eyes, shutting off the tv as he turns to face him.

“Yes, I did, this is the fifth time you’ve asked me that question.” Liam sighs, rubbing a hand down his face. Harry just shrugs, giving Liam a curious look.

“Because I just can’t believe it, Liam, that’s not like you.” Harry comments, putting his feet on top of the coffee table.

“What’s not like me?” Liam asks, “Am I supposed to feel _bad_ for the guy that lead me on?” Liam scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m not saying that, I’m just saying that just leaving him there is not like you.” Harry sighed, pushing his hair out of his eyes, “It’s just out of character for you is all I’m saying.” Liam rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath. “You were practically in love with this guy a few weeks ago and now you’re just gonna’ leave him like that after he poured his heart out to you?”

“I-I wasn’t- _I’m not_ in love with him, I wasn’t thinking straight,” Liam sighed, tears stinging his eyes, Harry leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he looks at Liam.

“Liam, I can see the hurt in your eyes, you love him, and he wants to be with you; so what’s the problem?” Harry asks, Liam looks at Harry and something snaps. He darts up from his seat, his thoughts  muffled against the adrenaline in his veins. He grabs his jacket and car keys, darting for the door before he can stop himself.

+++

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I can't believe that this story is starting to come an end :c   
> thank you to all of you guys who've been reading from the the very start! If it weren't for you all, I probably wouldn't have ever written anything past chapter 2. So thank you so, so, so much!   
> Kudos are appreciated   
> Comments (good and bad) are always welcomed   
> suggestions are welcomed too since I'm still kind of pulling this story out of my ass right now.   
> Cheers!


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